Out of all the relationships we develop in our lives, there is one bond that tends to stand out from the rest: the bond between a mother and her children. For many, the connection provides closeness, support, and love. This is why people love to showcase and preserve the memories made with their mom through physical items like photo books.
Whether your mom was bestowed the profound title through giving birth to you, adoption, surrogacy, step-parenting, or another path, each mother’s journey is typically marked by love and sacrifice. However, as influential as mothers can be in our lives, everyone holds a unique level of closeness with their mom.
To understand the relationships people have with their moms, we surveyed 2,021 people across the United States about them. The findings include where in the nation people are most and least close to their moms, as well as the reasoning behind the bond.
Key findings:
- Maryland, New Jersey, and Tennessee are the states where people are closest to their moms.
- Almost half, 48%, wish they were closer to their moms than they are.
- Sharing life updates, celebrating holidays and milestones, and sharing positive and negative emotions are the top things people do with their moms.
- Almost half, 46%, see their moms at least once a week.
- Differing personalities, unresolved resentment, and past trauma are the top reasons Americans aren’t close to their moms.
Where in the US are people the most and least close to their moms?
Relationships with moms can vary greatly among people. While some maintain a close bond with their mothers all throughout their lives, others may not feel as close as they’d like to be. In fact, our respondents revealed that 48% wish they were closer to their moms than they are.
Closeness to Mom can mean a variety of different things. It can be a feeling of closeness through emotional or physical support. It can be knowing you can come to your mom for anything. It can be building a deeper bond with frequent communication. Or it can be spending quality time with your mom frequently—like 46% of our respondents who say they see their moms at least once a week.
Keeping all of these factors in mind, we surveyed respondents over a series of questions, including “How would you describe your relationship with your mom?” and “How often do you typically communicate with your mom?” Each answer choice was weighted, with a total possible score for all questions being 100. The higher the score, the closer respondents in that state were to their moms.
The states where people are closest to their moms are Maryland, New Jersey, and Tennessee. People in these states tend to share deep mother/child relationships that grow through frequent communication, quality time, and love.
How do Americans bond with their moms?
A big factor in feeling close to your mom is whether or not you do things that help strengthen your bond. While most (57%) say a close bond with their mom was formed during their upbringing, the relationship is something that has to be continually maintained to flourish.
The most common ways Americans say they bond with their moms are by sharing life updates, celebrating holidays and milestones together, and feeling comfortable sharing positive and negative emotions. On the other end of the spectrum, the things people are least likely to do with their moms are to seek advice, engage in shared interests, and give physical affection.
Having a close bond with your mom can serve as a pillar of support throughout your life. When life gets challenging, it’s nice to know you can always lean on the nurture and love of a mom. While having a close relationship with both parents is just as special, 61% say they are closer to their mom than their dad.
How far do Americans live from their mom by state?
Life has a way of taking you to unexpected places, and for half of Americans, that place is in the same city or closer to their moms. Although you grow up and eventually move out of your mother’s nest, many desire not to stray too far. The states where people live closest to their moms are Florida, New York, and South Carolina.
Living close to your mom can have many benefits, from having a support system close by that you can rely on to still being able to enjoy the occasional home-cooked meal you loved from your childhood. It’s easier to maintain and grow a relationship with someone when you can see them regularly as well.
For those who don’t tend to live close to their mom, like the residents in New Mexico, Colorado, and Utah, there are still ways to combat the physical distance. The biggest tool we have today is technology, which makes it possible to see a loved one physically as often as we’d like through a digital device. Despite that, the majority don’t take advantage of the tool, as 61% say they never Facetime their mom. For 15%, their moms' limited use of technology prevents them from being closer.
Although not everyone can see their mom as often as they’d like, hanging a canvas print of a special moment can remind you of the special bond you have daily. Oftentimes, we get so busy in life that we forget to think about others, but being intentional through physical reminders can help us remember to pick up the phone and give a loved one a call.
What are the top reasons people aren’t close to their mom?
For some Americans, the relationship with their mom isn’t as close or nurturing as they would hope. In fact, a quarter of Americans say they aren’t close to their moms, and one in three describe their relationship as just “okay” or worse.
Our respondents revealed that the top reasons people aren’t close to their moms are because of differing personalities, unresolved resentment or hurt, and past trauma or abuse. All of these and more can make it hard to build a relationship, despite desperately wanting it.
A lack of a mother-child relationship can be hard for both parties. For the child, it can leave them feeling unsupported in certain aspects of their life. However, there are ways many individuals cope, such as building strong relationships with others around them, from other family members, friends, or partners. Feeling the love and support that is often given by a mom can also be received from others without the official title.
How do Americans celebrate their moms on Mother’s Day?
Regardless of who you view as a mother figure in your life, many take time to celebrate a special person or people on Mother’s Day. From moms to aunts, grandmothers, and others who fill the role, most people have someone in their life who has served as a source of nurture, comfort, and support. This is why every year, people all around the world are honored by their loved ones in unique ways.
In America, the most common ways people celebrate their moms on Mother’s Day are by giving them a Mother’s Day gift, calling them on the phone, or visiting them. All of these have the ability to make these people feel special and valued.
What are the best ways to preserve your memories with Mom?
People all across the world hold a unique relationship with their mothers. While geographical location may influence the dynamics of the relationship, the love, support, and connection shared can help the relationship continue to thrive.
For those who are fortunate enough to have close relationships with their moms, every moment spent together becomes a cherished memory to be treasured. This is why at Mixbook, we make it possible to preserve precious moments for a lifetime through physical keepsakes like photo books, calendars, and canvas prints.
According to Dr. Christie Chung, Cognitive Psychologist and Provost at Palo Alto University, sharing stories and memories while looking at photos is a powerful way to bond with your mom. She says, “... two people can talk about it together and collectively think about what that story really meant to everybody. And that is a really powerful thing—because that is one way for us to strengthen bonds within families... To talk about something that you have experienced in common, but from different perspectives and potentially with different emotions as well.”
FAQs about our Mother’s Day survey
How do people stay close to their moms as adults?
Our survey reveals that the most common things Americans do with their mom are sharing life updates (82%), celebrating holidays and milestones (81%), and sharing emotions, both positive and negative (72%). Seeing each other in person is a key indicator, too, with almost half (46%) of respondents seeing their moms at least once a week.
So, staying close to your mom as an adult is actually pretty simple—get on the phone or get together in person and simply chat about your lives. Sharing the big milestones as well as everyday thoughts and feelings both seem to play a key role in a close mother-child relationship.
Is it unusual to not be close to my mom?
Our survey responses show that around a quarter of Americans are not close to their moms. So, while it’s a minority, it’s definitely not uncommon, either. The reasons for this vary, with 19% attributing it to simply having different personalities. Other reasons reported were more serious, such as unresolved resentment or hurt (19%), past trauma or abuse (19%), lack of respect for boundaries (15%), and having different values (14%).
How do most Americans celebrate Mother’s Day?
The most common way our survey respondents said they celebrate their moms on Mother’s Day is by sending or giving a gift (54%), followed by a phone call (39%), or visit (33%). Just over a quarter (26%) of respondents take their mom out, and 18% send flowers.
What should I get my mom for Mother’s Day this year?
At Mixbook, we’re all about the personalized gifts that celebrate shared memories. We’re always going to recommend a Mother’s Day photo book as a thoughtful, deeply meaningful gift idea.
You should also check out the findings from our other survey: What do moms really want for Mother’s Day?
Want to give a special Mother’s Day gift this year?
If you’re looking for ideas for a sentimental Mother’s Day gift your mom will love, Mixbook can help you create the perfect item, even right from your phone! Through customizable themes and a support team available 24/7, we’ll make sure you’re happy with your item from design to delivery.
Methodology:
In February 2024, we surveyed 2,021 Americans about their relationship with their mothers in 40 states. States that weren’t included due to insufficient data were Alaska, Delaware, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming.
*To determine scores, we asked respondents a series of questions, including "How would you describe your relationship with your mom?” and “How often do you typically communicate with your mom?” Each answer choice was weighted, with a total possible score for all questions being 100. Respondents ranged in age from 18 to 76 years old, and were 50% female, 49% male, and 1% nonbinary.
