How to Write a Wedding Speech

Being asked to give a speech at a loved ones wedding or the ceremony of a beloved friend is a great honor. The very fact you have been chosen speaks volumes about your importance in the life of the person making the request, and speaks even louder of the confidence they are placing on you during this, the most monumental day of their life.

That request for a wedding day speech may be a great honor, but it can also be a frightening assignment. This is one talk you do not want to get wrong, and this is one time you cannot afford to have your carefully chosen words fall flat or worse yet be misinterpreted.

While there is no such thing as the perfect wedding speech, there is a recipe you can follow as you prepare your own remarks. The words may be different from ceremony to ceremony, but the sentiment and the love behind those words will always be the same. With those important caveats in mind, here is a recipe you can follow to craft the perfect wedding speech.

Make a List of Why You Love Them

You obviously have a strong bond with the bride, the groom or the happy couple as a whole. After all you would never have been chosen to give a speech if that connection was not already in place. So take that bond as a given and talk instead about all the great things that make the couple of honor so special in your eyes and the eyes of all the other guess. Like in the couples' wedding vows to each other, include the qualities of thier relationship that makes their love special.

Think about the first time you met the bride and groom, and the qualities that brought the two together. Read some of our favorite wedding day quotes and think how the happy couple exemplify these heartfelt words of love and marriage. These memories can help you build a solid core for your wedding speech, one that will create a talk that is warm, heartfelt and truly genuine.

Pick Out a Few Carefully Chosen Anecdotes

If you have known the bride and groom for some time, you probably have a lot of stories in your back pocket, and now is the chance to break them out. Sprinkling a few carefully chosen anecdotes and funny story into your speech will set everyone at ease and pave the way for an even more heartfelt tribute.

Even more importantly, writing down and focusing on those anecdotes will set your own mind at ease, allowing you to be less nervous as you take the stage and congratulate the happy couple on their big day. You do not have to share every funny story and every memory you and the couple have shared, but adding a few carefully chosen anecdotes is a key ingredient of a successful wedding speech.

Keep It Short and Sweet

Given the amount of hard work, time and dedication that goes into the crafting of your wedding day speech, it is tempting to stay on the stage a long time, but you should always remember that the day is about the bride and groom. When it comes to delivering the wedding day speech you have worked so hard to write, take a tip for your favorite comedians and always let them wanting more.

Shorter is better when it comes to wedding speeches, so focus on the most meaningful examples of the happy couple and their love, your fondest memories of them and their families and the funniest anecdotes you can think of. Remember, a wedding has numerous moving parts and your speech is one of hundreds of speeches, readings, dances, and whatever else planned for the bride and groom on their special day. In the end it will not be how long you speak that is remembered, only what you had to say.

Know the Audience

As you write your wedding speech it is important to learn about the audience and tailor your words so as not to offend or rub anyone the wrong way. If there will be children or senior citizens in the audience, you might want to skip those off-color memories and avoid language that could be deemed disrespectful or offensive.

The more you know about who will be attending the wedding the easier it will be to craft a message that will touch the hearts of everyone attending. Do not be afraid to ask about the peccadilloes and personalities of family members and friends you do not know personally - it will help you craft a better wedding day speech.

Welcome the Newcomer to the Family (If Appropriate)

In many cases the person being asked to prepare the wedding speech will be a parent of the bride or groom, and these future in-laws can face some additional challenges as they choose their words. In essence that wedding day speech will be the first memory the newly married couple will have of the in-laws that now are part of their family, so those words matter a great deal.

If you are asked to get up and speak at the wedding of your future daughter or son-in-law, you will want to start by welcoming them into your family. This heartfelt welcome is a wonderful way to start the speech, and it will set the tone for everything that follows.

Once the welcomes have been taken care of, you can move on to talk about how happy your future family member has made your son or daughter. This quest for happiness and lasting romance is not something to be taken lightly, and it is a vital ingredient in any wedding day speech.

Once again sharing stories and anecdotes can break the ice and make your wedding day speech a better one. If the happy couple has their own meet cute story, you can share that romantic comedy memory with the guests, creating a sense of fun at the start of a new marital adventure.

Acknowledge Out of Town Guests

With family members and friends scattered far and wide, getting everyone in the same place for a wedding is no easy task, nor is it an inexpensive undertaking. If you know there will be guests traveling to the wedding from out of town, take a minute to thank them for the hours on the road or cramped airplane seats they have had to endure to be here on the big day.

The acknowledgement does not have to be elaborate or lengthy - the goal is to keep the speech short after all. Even so that acknowledgement of travel and obstacles overcome is an important ingredient for any successful wedding speech.

Thank the Hosts and the Wedding Party

Putting on a wedding takes a lot of time, attention to detail and careful planning. Just as importantly it takes a great deal of money. That is why a heartfelt thank you to not just the bride and groom but the assembled families and wedding party is a vital part of any good wedding speech.

As your wedding speech goes on, be sure to thank the happy couple and the wedding party for giving you this special honor. If you like you can call out certain people by name - just don't forget to thank the entire group as a whole somewhere in the speech.

Acknowledge the Happy Couple

It is easy to get so caught up in your speech preparation that you forget the reason the wedding is happening in the first place. As you craft your words and think about what you want to say, never forget the two stars of the show - the happy couple saying their vows and sharing a kiss at the altar.

Take the time to thank the couple for inviting you and honoring you with the speech request. Talk about how much that request means to you, and how honored you are to share in the most important day of their lives.

Never Drink and Speech

There you have it - the recipe for the perfect wedding speech. That recipe includes a healthy does of gratitude, along with a sprinkling of jokes and anecdotes and perhaps a romantic comedy meet cute moment as well. Those are all vital ingredients that should be combined carefully as you write out your words and practice them in front of the mirror, but there is one ingredient you should definitely leave on the table, or at the open bar.

That ingredient is alcohol, and mixing it with a wedding speech would be a very bad idea indeed. If you do not want to be remembered as the person who got drunk, got up and gave a speech that ruined the wedding, be sure to save the toast for after you are done speaking.

Public speaking is stressful under any circumstances, but getting up to speak at the wedding of a friend or family member turns the stress dial up to an even higher level. If you want that wedding day speech to go off without a hitch, you need to craft it using the right recipe. The tips and steps outlined above can all help you mix in the humility, the confidence and the heartfelt gratitude you need, so you can give the happy couple a gift they will never forget.